Oct. 29, 2025

083: Belonging and Bringing Homemade Macaroni to the Potluck with Dr. Sheldon Eakins

What if belonging wasn’t a poster or a pep talk, but a practice you could measure, build, and sustain? We sit down with Dr. Sheldon Eakins to unpack how leadership choices shape whether students feel accepted, supported, and included. From turning speaking engagements into chapters to designing a student belonging survey, Dr. Eakins shows how to move from intent to impact with tools any school can use.

We dig into inclusion and assimilation, and why asking students to “fit in” by quietly shedding their identity undermines achievement. Sheldon shares how to audit rituals and traditions, align mission and vision with lived culture, and break down silos between special education, multilingual learning, and general education. His potluck metaphor reframes the work: bring homemade, not boxed. Craft environments where every learner sees themselves on the table and feels safe enough to try something new.

Teachers will find concrete ideas to swap “classroom management” for community-building: co-create agreements, build respectful relationships, and design projects that connect standards to students’ lives. We also explore attachment theory across K–12, showing how even 50 minutes can become a secure base for growth. And for the time-starved, Sheldon offers a pragmatic take on AI: use it to draft plans and personalize entry points, then spend your energy on feedback, facilitation, and care.

If you’re ready to lead with clarity and purpose, and to build a culture where identity fuels learning, this conversation is your roadmap.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

Connect with Dr. Sheldon Eakins via his website, Instagram, and LinkedIn.
Check out Dr. Eakin's books:

00:00 - Welcome & Guest Introduction

01:45 - Growth From First To Second Book

03:20 - Rethinking The Writing Process

06:55 - Life Changes & New Roles

09:05 - Two Books, Two Audiences

11:47 - Why Belonging Anchors School Leadership

14:02 - The Belonging Survey & Tools

16:38 - Organizing For Culture Change

18:38 - Assimilation vs Authentic Belonging

22:14 - Advice For New Teachers

24:12 - Using AI To Connect Content

27:55 - Potluck Metaphor: Accepted, Supported, Included

31:20 - Redefining “Classroom Management”

34:40 - Student Voice, Semantics, And Impact

36:50 - How To Reach Dr. Akins & Closing

WEBVTT

00:00:02.799 --> 00:00:13.839
Welcome to SEL and EDU, the podcast where we explore how educators bring social emotional learning to life by sharing stories, strategies, and sparks of inspiration.

00:00:14.080 --> 00:00:15.199
I'm your host, Dr.

00:00:15.279 --> 00:00:18.480
Krista Lay, owner of Resonance Education.

00:00:18.719 --> 00:00:22.079
Thank you for joining us on this SEL journey.

00:00:24.960 --> 00:00:28.879
This is Jeremy Jorgensen, host of the Wi Edify Podcast.

00:00:29.039 --> 00:00:31.679
Proud member of the Education Podcast Network.

00:00:31.839 --> 00:00:37.520
Each show on the network is independently owned, and the views expressed may not represent those of other podcasts.

00:00:37.600 --> 00:00:43.280
For the best education podcasts, visit edupodcastnetwork.com.

00:00:45.679 --> 00:00:46.000
Dr.

00:00:46.079 --> 00:00:46.880
Sheldon L.

00:00:47.039 --> 00:00:54.799
Akins is an experienced school administrator, education consultant, author, speaker, and founder of Purposeful Teaching Academy.

00:00:55.280 --> 00:01:00.799
His mission is to help educators create student-centered learning environments where all students thrive.

00:01:01.359 --> 00:01:01.600
Dr.

00:01:01.759 --> 00:01:09.040
Akins specializes in leadership development, school culture, and practical strategies that support teaching with clarity and purpose.

00:01:09.519 --> 00:01:11.519
Through Purposeful Teaching Academy, Dr.

00:01:11.680 --> 00:01:24.000
Akins partners with schools to deliver personalized keynotes, workshops, and coaching that foster strong relationships, boost engagement, and support lasting change in teaching and leadership practices.

00:01:24.879 --> 00:01:27.519
Welcome, SEL and EDU family, Dr.

00:01:27.599 --> 00:01:29.920
Sheldon Akins back to the show.

00:01:30.640 --> 00:01:32.799
Well, Krista, it's always a pleasure.

00:01:32.959 --> 00:01:34.159
I'm so glad to talk to you.

00:01:34.799 --> 00:01:36.000
Thank you for being back here.

00:01:36.159 --> 00:01:41.680
As soon as I saw you had a new book coming out, I was on my computer and I stopped what I was doing.

00:01:41.760 --> 00:01:44.560
I'm like, hi, can you come back on and talk about your new book?

00:01:44.879 --> 00:01:46.480
I love the work that you do.

00:01:46.719 --> 00:01:49.519
And the I'm just excited.

00:01:49.680 --> 00:01:52.480
I've read your first book and I'm excited for this one.

00:01:52.560 --> 00:01:56.159
It's not out yet, but it's dropping.

00:01:56.239 --> 00:02:00.799
And by the time people listen to this, they will be able to go in and pre-order it.

00:02:01.040 --> 00:02:01.359
Yes.

00:02:01.519 --> 00:02:06.400
And it's funny that you mentioned my first book, Leading Equity, Becoming an Advocate for All Students.

00:02:06.640 --> 00:02:14.400
I was just reading that not too long ago, and I was listening to it a little bit because I did the whole audio book, which that's a whole nother conversation about recording.

00:02:15.039 --> 00:02:17.599
Okay, we need to come back and talk about that in a minute.

00:02:18.080 --> 00:02:19.919
That's a whole story.

00:02:20.639 --> 00:02:27.520
But I was listening to it and I was like, you know, I have so much growth from that first book and then into the second book.

00:02:27.599 --> 00:02:29.039
What do you bring into the potluck?

00:02:29.120 --> 00:02:34.800
It's just a lot of with the writing and just kind of honing that craft of how to write, what's comfortable for me.

00:02:35.039 --> 00:02:40.879
You and I kind of talked about how my process was in the past, and it's just sitting there typing, it's just not really my thing.

00:02:40.960 --> 00:02:41.759
I have to speak it out.

00:02:41.840 --> 00:02:43.599
I'm just more comfortable on a microphone.

00:02:43.680 --> 00:02:46.000
So I'm glad that you're anticipating it.

00:02:46.159 --> 00:02:47.680
I'm excited for the book.

00:02:47.840 --> 00:02:50.639
Uh, it's a lot there in within that book.

00:02:50.960 --> 00:02:53.919
So let's go back because you said there's been a lot of growth.

00:02:54.000 --> 00:02:56.400
And honestly, I think that there should be growth.

00:02:56.560 --> 00:02:59.759
I don't want to read from people who are like, I don't have anything to learn.

00:03:00.319 --> 00:03:01.919
There wasn't growth in this process.

00:03:02.080 --> 00:03:05.199
I think that if we're evolving, we want to grow.

00:03:05.360 --> 00:03:08.400
I love that you said that, and that makes me want to read the book even more.

00:03:08.560 --> 00:03:16.719
And I hear you about the dissertation process too, but it's hard, it's hard work in that focus and that time and to refine.

00:03:17.199 --> 00:03:21.280
But I really admire the fact that you said that you've seen the growth.

00:03:21.599 --> 00:03:23.280
Yeah, I ain't gonna lie to you, Krista.

00:03:23.520 --> 00:03:27.919
I said to myself, I'll never write again after I got through the dissertation.

00:03:28.080 --> 00:03:28.960
I did not see it coming.

00:03:29.039 --> 00:03:33.439
And honestly, had publishers reach out to me multiple every now and then.

00:03:33.520 --> 00:03:35.759
Someone reach out, hey, we want you to write a book for us.

00:03:35.919 --> 00:03:37.439
We appreciate the work that you're doing.

00:03:37.599 --> 00:03:38.960
I just kept turning it down.

00:03:39.120 --> 00:03:48.000
And then when I got with my first book, Josie Bass was like, Well, we'll help you with the support and walk me through the process, which was helpful for me.

00:03:48.240 --> 00:03:52.159
But the challenge that I kept running up against was there were deadlines.

00:03:52.240 --> 00:03:54.879
They're like, Okay, this needs to be in by such and such time.

00:03:55.039 --> 00:03:59.599
So I started to get anxiety, started to get frantic because you know, life was happening.

00:03:59.680 --> 00:04:03.120
I'm on stage here and I'm on stage there, and family and all the stuff.

00:04:03.199 --> 00:04:09.840
And I was missing deadlines, and it got to the point where they were like, Where is this stuff at?

00:04:10.000 --> 00:04:13.599
So I was like, okay, let me redo my strategy of how I'm doing this.

00:04:13.680 --> 00:04:16.639
I need to get this book out, I need to hit these deadlines.

00:04:16.800 --> 00:04:23.439
I'm a man of my word, so it just sucks that I'm missing deadlines, and I don't want to be that guy holding things up, holding up the process.

00:04:23.600 --> 00:04:39.040
So I just took my next chapter, I outlined it, I did my research, and I started doing webinars and started promoting stuff in that capacity where I had a transcript now because I did an hour-long, two-hour-long workshop webinar, and it was on it.

00:04:39.120 --> 00:04:49.279
The content within the chapter, I was able to speak it out, transcribe it all, and now I had something to work with because just sitting there typing, I get so distracted.

00:04:49.519 --> 00:04:54.800
Someone calls me or an email comes in, and I'm watching the email, and then I forget where I was at.

00:04:54.959 --> 00:04:56.720
I don't say I have ADHD.

00:04:56.800 --> 00:04:57.839
I don't think I do.

00:04:58.079 --> 00:05:05.600
However, I will get distracted, or I'll see red on the words on the Word document and see a misspelled something or a punctuation is missing.

00:05:05.680 --> 00:05:07.279
And again, I'll miss my thought.

00:05:07.439 --> 00:05:09.120
I type slower than I speak.

00:05:09.279 --> 00:05:19.199
If it's on my mind, I can say it right then and there, and then I can tweak it if I need to tweak it, but at least it's on quote unquote paper, as opposed to me just trying to type it live.

00:05:19.680 --> 00:05:35.519
One of the things I also admire is that when you put something out there, you're getting real-time feedback that allows you to not reframe, but maybe think over your ideas and thoughts before you're like, yeah, this is really what I want to say, and I'm going with it.

00:05:35.759 --> 00:05:41.519
What I heard you say is that there are webinars on YouTube of parts of the book.

00:05:41.759 --> 00:05:44.079
Yeah, you can pull from my first book too.

00:05:44.160 --> 00:05:51.839
In there's podcast episodes, a lot of the solo ones that you hear me speaking out my research or the work that I've done.

00:05:51.920 --> 00:05:53.839
So this is I'm usually working on something.

00:05:53.920 --> 00:06:00.160
It could be a topic, it could be a chapter that I've done the research, I've just kind of put it together and I'm speaking it out.

00:06:00.319 --> 00:06:03.759
It's just how I had to write that, it's just so much easier for me to do it that way.

00:06:03.839 --> 00:06:05.439
It's more natural, I guess.

00:06:05.759 --> 00:06:11.839
So you might be seeing my YouTube channel start having an upload of this idea.

00:06:12.000 --> 00:06:12.639
I love it.

00:06:12.879 --> 00:06:14.560
Do I have your permission to steal it?

00:06:14.800 --> 00:06:15.920
You can steal whatever.

00:06:16.000 --> 00:06:17.040
I can't be the only one.

00:06:17.279 --> 00:06:18.319
I didn't trademark that.

00:06:18.399 --> 00:06:20.720
So you can definitely take that again.

00:06:20.800 --> 00:06:26.720
If that's what works best for you, it's just kind of putting it together and then talking it out.

00:06:26.800 --> 00:06:28.000
I'm just comfortable on a mic.

00:06:28.160 --> 00:06:38.639
That's just my thing, especially if there's an audience and then there's chat going on, and you feed off of that energy, and you're just really bringing it in as opposed to just sitting there in a quiet space.

00:06:38.720 --> 00:06:45.279
And you know, maybe I got my coffee next to me, and I'm just my dog is there, and he's just relaxing, and there's maybe some quiet.

00:06:45.759 --> 00:06:46.480
It's just not me.

00:06:46.560 --> 00:06:47.360
I can't write like that.

00:06:47.439 --> 00:06:49.199
That's just not my thing.

00:06:49.519 --> 00:07:00.720
It's hard, yeah, to sit there and try to when you feel like there's no audience, but at least when you're seeing some faces, and like you said, you're seeing people in the chat does fill you with energy.

00:07:00.800 --> 00:07:07.439
And and both of us being introverts, I do feed off of that, and that helps me want to be engaged.

00:07:07.759 --> 00:07:08.240
Yeah.

00:07:09.199 --> 00:07:13.680
So the last time we talked, you've had a lot of life changes happen since then.

00:07:13.839 --> 00:07:19.439
So you've moved states, you have a new role, and you have two new books.

00:07:19.600 --> 00:07:20.959
Fill me in on this.

00:07:21.759 --> 00:07:26.639
I would start off by saying I feel like I've been very blessed with a lot of things that have come my way.

00:07:26.800 --> 00:07:34.720
I've definitely had some challenges in my personal life with a lot of things going on, and was given an opportunity to lead a school.

00:07:34.879 --> 00:07:36.240
First of all, I love Idaho.

00:07:36.319 --> 00:07:37.600
So I joke around.

00:07:37.759 --> 00:07:40.079
I used to live in Idaho, that was a whole thing.

00:07:40.240 --> 00:07:42.879
It's a beautiful place, just not for me.

00:07:43.040 --> 00:07:45.360
I'm not really for that rural life.

00:07:45.519 --> 00:07:46.800
I prefer a big city.

00:07:46.959 --> 00:07:50.959
An opportunity came up for me to come and relocate to Phoenix.

00:07:51.120 --> 00:08:07.199
I took that opportunity to lead a school and work towards that goal of growing the campuses, one campus when I got there, and then the opportunity to open up two more school locations, just really being able to get closer to my children.

00:08:07.360 --> 00:08:09.439
There's just a lot of things that took place.

00:08:09.600 --> 00:08:12.240
So I'm enjoying life on that end.

00:08:12.399 --> 00:08:16.560
But again, the work continues as a consultant, right?

00:08:16.639 --> 00:08:19.519
You know the life about being a consultant, and it's fun.

00:08:19.759 --> 00:08:21.360
You get a chance to meet a lot of people.

00:08:21.439 --> 00:08:27.360
Again, I love being on stage, so I get an opportunity to speak and have a great time, feed off of the energy that's in front of me.

00:08:27.519 --> 00:08:29.839
And so, yeah, the opportunities to write books.

00:08:30.000 --> 00:08:32.720
I have been brewing this idea of what are you bringing to the pot.

00:08:32.960 --> 00:08:36.879
Look, again, was some of if you go on my YouTube, there's a sense of belonging series.

00:08:36.960 --> 00:08:39.360
It's all the book, it's basically the book right there.

00:08:39.600 --> 00:08:42.399
And so it just gave me an opportunity to do that.

00:08:42.639 --> 00:08:49.279
And then I had another opportunity to write another book, and again, it's just a blessing of how all this worked out.

00:08:49.759 --> 00:08:54.480
And this one, your second one was on meaningful classroom management.

00:08:54.720 --> 00:08:55.759
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:08:55.919 --> 00:08:58.240
It's crazy because they're coming out within a few weeks apart.

00:08:58.639 --> 00:08:59.600
Two different publishers.

00:08:59.679 --> 00:09:04.159
So the first one will be through Solution Tree, it's called What Are You Bringing to the Pollock.

00:09:04.399 --> 00:09:06.799
The second one is coming through ASCD.

00:09:06.960 --> 00:09:09.679
That one is actually geared more towards teachers.

00:09:09.759 --> 00:09:17.919
So the first one's more towards leadership, and the second one is called Meaningful Classroom Management, and that one's leading more towards the teacher side.

00:09:18.159 --> 00:09:32.720
I hope the people who are in your school division know how lucky they are because you've had this experience as a leader and as the teacher, and to be able to support them at both of these ends.

00:09:33.120 --> 00:09:37.120
And so I'd be sitting there thinking, oh, good, we're getting copies of his book.

00:09:37.519 --> 00:09:43.120
If something happens, I know he's somebody I can go to and be like, I need some help.

00:09:43.679 --> 00:09:48.320
A couple of things didn't go the way I thought they would, and I need some support.

00:09:53.039 --> 00:09:54.240
I'm almost like two people.

00:09:54.399 --> 00:10:00.639
So there's leading equity, Sheldon, and then there's school leaders, principal, teacher, Sheldon.

00:10:00.720 --> 00:10:03.600
So on a local level, if you will, I'm a little bit different.

00:10:03.679 --> 00:10:07.679
So sometimes people was like, I Googled you the other day, and I had no idea.

00:10:07.840 --> 00:10:16.960
Like I that comes up sometimes because I try to be humble because I don't want to come across as if I'm all knowing because I don't know everything.

00:10:17.120 --> 00:10:19.919
I'm still learning, and I'm a lifelong learner.

00:10:20.000 --> 00:10:21.440
You know, we use that term all the time.

00:10:21.600 --> 00:10:22.159
That's me.

00:10:22.320 --> 00:10:26.720
There's just so much out there, especially when it comes to education and just trying to stay abreast.

00:10:26.799 --> 00:10:31.440
That's what I do to show that I'm bringing on new topics so I can try to stay as relevant as possible.

00:10:31.600 --> 00:10:33.360
So I stay on the humble side.

00:10:33.519 --> 00:10:39.919
So people have Googled me, or I've actually had staff members walk up to me with my book and it's like, oh, can you sign this?

00:10:40.000 --> 00:10:42.080
I was in a bookstore and I saw this and I saw your name.

00:10:42.159 --> 00:10:42.639
I didn't know.

00:10:42.799 --> 00:10:44.080
Like that does happen.

00:10:44.240 --> 00:10:57.519
But those are the things that are less as important to me as opposed to providing whatever support I can to make sure that whatever teachers I'm supporting or whatever staff members I'm supporting has the tools they need to be successful.

00:10:57.919 --> 00:10:59.120
That's the key right there.

00:10:59.279 --> 00:11:05.840
Full disclosure, I have known leaders who've written books, and I read the book and I'm like, they didn't walk this talk.

00:11:06.399 --> 00:11:07.679
But I know you do.

00:11:07.919 --> 00:11:14.159
You don't just write a book, you live what you're writing about, and you're modeling that.

00:11:14.240 --> 00:11:28.399
And that's why I think that they're very lucky because those two pieces have, and I don't know, I might be making a big jump here, but you have the same foundation, the same core values, the same integrity happening here.

00:11:28.720 --> 00:11:40.320
I admire that because it's like you're walking into the talk and not just like, oh yeah, look, I got a book out here, which is why I wanted you to come on to talk about this book because I want people to get it and to read it.

00:11:40.480 --> 00:11:42.000
What was it that inspired you?

00:11:42.159 --> 00:11:47.120
What motivated you to put in this time for what are you bringing to the potluck?

00:11:47.600 --> 00:11:49.679
We live in an age where books are being banned.

00:11:49.840 --> 00:11:57.679
Sometimes I feel like I get pigeonholed into the DEI guy, and sometimes can be a matter of semantics.

00:11:58.159 --> 00:12:09.919
We live in an age where there's so much pushback, but at the end of the day, we should be all able to agree, no matter what your political stances are, your beliefs are, that we want our kids to be successful.

00:12:10.159 --> 00:12:18.399
I wanted to write a book because the more and more I do this work, it boils down to school leadership.

00:12:18.559 --> 00:12:23.440
It's going to always be your chief diversity, equity, inclusion, belonging, whatever terms you want to utilize.

00:12:23.679 --> 00:12:25.200
It's the school leader.

00:12:25.519 --> 00:12:30.639
Because of whatever emphasis they place, as far as like what they feel like are important.

00:12:30.799 --> 00:12:40.399
So the idea of creating a book that was centered around a sense of belonging, to me, summed up everything that I believe in when it comes to education.

00:12:40.480 --> 00:12:47.519
Because yeah, I can tell my students to do their best and get high scores and take this class and take that class.

00:12:47.679 --> 00:12:49.440
That's the academic side of things.

00:12:49.600 --> 00:13:02.799
But if they don't feel like they can really truly be themselves and if they don't feel as if they're seen, valued, and heard, how do we expect them to get all A's, or how do we expect them to show up to school, let alone anything else?

00:13:03.120 --> 00:13:08.480
So that's where the idea of the book came from was creating a sense of belonging.

00:13:08.720 --> 00:13:12.320
And yes, we can talk about different strategies on how that looks.

00:13:12.480 --> 00:13:18.559
And I could sit there on a stage for 45 minutes to an hour and give you a keynote about do better as a school leader.

00:13:18.720 --> 00:13:21.039
But the question always comes up well, how?

00:13:21.200 --> 00:13:22.639
What does that look like?

00:13:22.879 --> 00:13:24.559
That's where the book is coming from.

00:13:24.720 --> 00:13:37.840
In that book, there is a sense of belonging assessment tool that you start the year off, you ask your students because how many times have we thought, oh, Mike, our students they love our school and boom, boom, boom.

00:13:37.919 --> 00:13:41.440
And then you ask the kids and they tell you something totally different.

00:13:41.759 --> 00:13:43.200
It happens a lot.

00:13:43.440 --> 00:13:44.960
So let's start here.

00:13:45.120 --> 00:13:48.559
Let's ask the students where they are, and so they do the sense of belonging.

00:13:48.639 --> 00:13:52.399
And I have one for elementary level and then also for the older kids, right?

00:13:52.480 --> 00:13:55.840
So there's two different ones, but it's getting to the same group challenges.

00:13:55.919 --> 00:14:04.159
Then you have the information there based off of the scores, and you and then it can tell you, okay, if you've scored here, here's some suggestions for you.

00:14:04.240 --> 00:14:05.360
Here's some things you might want to do.

00:14:05.440 --> 00:14:07.440
If you scored here, here's some things you might want to do.

00:14:07.600 --> 00:14:20.559
And it gives a lot of tools, there's a lot of leadership reflection, there's a lot of opportunities for leadership to understand a lot of things that we don't necessarily think about or assess, such as tokenizing students and excluding students, the opposite of tokenization.

00:14:20.639 --> 00:14:24.320
It talks about the attachment theory and how that relates to kids.

00:14:24.559 --> 00:14:29.120
There's a lot of research built into that book, and I'm really excited to share it.

00:14:29.840 --> 00:14:31.840
How did you decide to organize this?

00:14:32.000 --> 00:14:33.759
Here's a survey that you can do.

00:14:33.919 --> 00:14:38.159
I love because so many times it's like, oh yeah, we have an accepting culture.

00:14:38.320 --> 00:14:42.159
I'm like, you say you do, but that doesn't, that's the way that people feel.

00:14:42.480 --> 00:14:46.720
That student component is so essential, no matter how old they are.

00:14:46.960 --> 00:14:51.440
And we both know that it does need to look a little bit different for our youngest kids.

00:14:51.679 --> 00:14:56.159
But then when you had those pieces, how did you lay out the rest of the book?

00:14:56.480 --> 00:14:56.799
Absolutely.

00:14:56.879 --> 00:14:58.000
So I always start with self.

00:14:58.159 --> 00:15:01.360
Any content created, it's always about self-identity.

00:15:01.600 --> 00:15:04.320
So the beginning of the book starts with us, all right.

00:15:04.399 --> 00:15:06.080
So, do you value sense of belonging?

00:15:06.240 --> 00:15:07.679
What does that mean to you?

00:15:07.840 --> 00:15:11.519
And it talks about what were some of the things that you as a student coming up.

00:15:11.679 --> 00:15:15.519
Then it talks about okay, you don't have to do this all by yourself.

00:15:15.759 --> 00:15:20.399
You might want to create some opportunities where you can have small groups playing different roles.

00:15:20.799 --> 00:15:26.080
And yes, it's okay to celebrate your rituals and traditions, but let's look at that.

00:15:26.240 --> 00:15:28.559
Are there some things that we might want to revisit?

00:15:28.720 --> 00:15:30.080
Let's look at our mission statement.

00:15:30.159 --> 00:15:31.519
Let's look at our vision statement.

00:15:31.679 --> 00:15:33.919
Are there some things that we want to revisit?

00:15:34.159 --> 00:15:36.000
Are we operating in silos?

00:15:36.240 --> 00:15:39.200
Was this a special ed department and just take care of only SPED?

00:15:39.360 --> 00:15:44.559
And so don't talk to me about the general population kids, or vice versa.

00:15:44.799 --> 00:15:48.639
These are some things where we're connecting everything together.

00:15:48.879 --> 00:15:54.320
The other piece that I like to talk about within the book is getting specific with certain groups of people.

00:15:54.559 --> 00:15:59.360
In the last chapter, it talks about if you have students that have experience in foster care.

00:15:59.679 --> 00:16:01.840
Here's some things that you might want to consider.

00:16:02.080 --> 00:16:16.159
If you have some students of color, if you have black students, if you have Hispanic students, if you have students that are new to the United States, here are some specific things that you might want to be mindful of that would support individuals that have these types of backgrounds.

00:16:16.320 --> 00:16:19.200
In addition to that, I talk about intersectionality, right?

00:16:19.279 --> 00:16:24.960
So yes, you might have a student of color who's new to the United States and English is not the first language.

00:16:25.120 --> 00:16:27.200
How do we support all of those different things?

00:16:27.360 --> 00:16:32.799
Because they may have various challenges that they're that, or barriers, if you will, that they're facing.

00:16:33.039 --> 00:16:41.919
I would say probably one of the biggest pieces within the book, outside of the sense of belonging tool, is the idea of assimilation.

00:16:42.080 --> 00:16:44.240
I did a lot of research on assimilation.

00:16:44.399 --> 00:16:48.399
I started with the group, went into Webster and saw what it said.

00:16:48.559 --> 00:16:50.000
What does it mean to assimilate?

00:16:50.240 --> 00:16:59.919
One of the things that really just stuck out to me was it talks about when an individual is trying to get within the accepting, the embracing culture.

00:17:00.159 --> 00:17:02.080
As I was looking at this definition, it bothered me.

00:17:02.240 --> 00:17:04.079
It really just stuck out to me, if you will.

00:17:04.240 --> 00:17:14.400
Because assimilating is essentially like I have to remove who I am, my identity, because I want to be accepted within the culture of the school.

00:17:14.559 --> 00:17:17.920
So when we're thinking about a school, this is what's acceptable.

00:17:18.240 --> 00:17:31.680
So if that's not something I would normally do at home, or that's not something I would normally do around my friends outside of this classroom, outside of the hallways, outside of the school building, then I am having to assimilate into this quote-unquote embracing culture.

00:17:31.839 --> 00:17:34.000
So I really dug into that as well.

00:17:34.160 --> 00:17:37.519
And again, a lot of the stuff to me is just unintentional.

00:17:37.599 --> 00:17:44.079
I just assume people have the best intentions and they're not trying to harm a student in those kind of ways.

00:17:44.240 --> 00:17:48.880
But unfortunately, a lot of things are happening, a lot of practices that we do, again, that are traditional.

00:17:49.039 --> 00:17:55.119
We've always done it this way, but it's not necessarily as welcoming or creating a sense of belonging that we really want.

00:17:55.359 --> 00:17:56.000
Yeah.

00:17:56.480 --> 00:17:59.680
I'm really stuck on that assimilating piece as well.

00:18:00.319 --> 00:18:09.920
Because what I've realized over time, reflecting back, is as a high school social studies teacher, I loved learning about people and causatives.

00:18:10.480 --> 00:18:29.920
And the more that I learned each year I facilitated, the more uncomfortable I became in a good way, because I learned more about imperialism and decolonization and assimilation and acculturation, learned more about my own family.

00:18:30.000 --> 00:18:34.319
And I'm like, oh, we're not learning the whole story.

00:18:34.799 --> 00:18:43.440
And then I think back personally with my family, my grandmother who stopped school in fifth grade because she got made fun of for not speaking English.

00:18:43.519 --> 00:18:50.799
She was a Spanish speaker and being made fun of because she had hand-me-down clothes, and to the point that she doesn't speak Spanish.

00:18:50.960 --> 00:18:54.240
And so we lost that piece.

00:18:54.480 --> 00:18:56.960
My mom does speak when she has to.

00:18:57.119 --> 00:19:03.200
She's a healthcare provider and works with vulnerable populations, but that was not something that we did.

00:19:03.359 --> 00:19:09.440
I am starting to learn, but I think why did I have to wait so long to figure that out?

00:19:09.599 --> 00:19:15.680
If I track back, it's because somebody wanting to feel a sense of belonging that they let go of who they were.

00:19:15.839 --> 00:19:29.680
And have you found that in your own work or what that looked like in the book as you were trying to help people see that it's not always a good thing?

00:19:30.240 --> 00:19:43.680
To speak to your point from your personal story, I've had conversations with individuals where like, yeah, my parents or my grandmother always said, just speak English, speak the Queen's language, is some of the verbiage I've heard.

00:19:43.839 --> 00:19:52.240
Where it's like, I spoke patois, or I spoke this dialect, and it's a broken down version of French, or it's a broken down version of such and such.

00:19:52.400 --> 00:19:56.160
And so we were told not to speak it anymore, and so it gets lost.

00:19:56.400 --> 00:20:06.319
I remember working on a reservation, that was one of the biggest challenges is the elders were the only ones that could speak the tribal languages because again, it gets lost over time.

00:20:06.400 --> 00:20:12.400
You got to think about the boarding schools and remember how they were told you need to speak English, you need to cut your hair.

00:20:12.640 --> 00:20:19.599
I talk about how the Native Americans were treated with their language culture, and you have to be this way kill the Indians, save the man.

00:20:19.920 --> 00:20:23.599
And if we don't do those types of things, then you won't be accepted.

00:20:23.680 --> 00:20:26.960
I'm just gonna assume in certain situations that it wasn't intentional.

00:20:27.039 --> 00:20:38.799
Definitely the boarding school situation that was intentional, but that so that was egregious, that's blatant in your face, but then there's a lot of subtleties that take place that we don't necessarily notice.

00:20:38.960 --> 00:20:42.559
I'm just again assuming best intentions, we don't necessarily pay attention to.

00:20:42.799 --> 00:21:02.880
As a result, a student goes throughout life, and it's not until they're full-on adult that they really feel comfortable with being truly who they are, or look back and think, man, I wish I could have done so many things, but it just didn't feel right, or I just didn't feel welcomed enough to be able to do these things to who I really am.

00:21:04.400 --> 00:21:10.640
There's a lot of new to the profession educators throughout the United States.

00:21:10.880 --> 00:21:20.799
What is some advice or recommendations you would give to them as they're starting out on this journey working with our young people and wanting them to have a sense of belonging?

00:21:21.440 --> 00:21:26.799
There's folks that went through teacher school, but I'm seeing a lot more alternative certification routes.

00:21:26.960 --> 00:21:33.359
I actually think there's a lot of opportunities for those teachers because they're coming in without all the theory.

00:21:34.000 --> 00:21:35.920
They're just learning on the job, if you will.

00:21:36.079 --> 00:21:37.680
I see that there's some pros and cons.

00:21:38.000 --> 00:21:45.039
The advice that I would give is I feel like it sounds cliche, but start with getting to know your kids.

00:21:45.200 --> 00:22:06.319
And you shouldn't be teaching for real over the first couple weeks because you're spending time with creating that rapport, really getting a chance to learn your students and learning what they want to learn and what they can relate to, because if they can relate to the content, it's gonna be so much better for you, as opposed to just providing this is what I'm gonna teach you, because I teach this every single year.

00:22:06.480 --> 00:22:15.200
If you're really being intentional with your practices and you're really trying to create that community within your classroom, those are some things that you need to be doing early on.

00:22:15.440 --> 00:22:18.480
And they don't necessarily always teach you that in a teacher school.

00:22:18.559 --> 00:22:20.400
Some of those things you just had to learn on the job.

00:22:20.720 --> 00:22:24.000
We were talking before we got on about chat and different AI.

00:22:24.240 --> 00:22:25.839
See a great value here too.

00:22:26.000 --> 00:22:40.000
I'm not necessarily saying that use everything it tells you, but if you know what your students are interested in and you know what the concepts or the skills are, I bet if you were able to type that in, it could give you some ideas.

00:22:40.160 --> 00:22:45.279
For me, I'd say to the students, here's what I tried, here's what it said, what are your thoughts on this?

00:22:45.519 --> 00:22:47.039
Especially at the high school level.

00:22:47.200 --> 00:22:48.880
Like, is this resonating?

00:22:48.960 --> 00:22:49.920
Is it off base?

00:22:50.079 --> 00:22:51.839
What would be a better fit?

00:22:52.160 --> 00:22:58.960
Yeah, because people tell me all the time, well, I can't I can't relate to the kids because you know I don't have the background, I don't share this, I don't share that.

00:22:59.200 --> 00:23:03.759
With the way AI is going these days, I feel like you can.

00:23:04.160 --> 00:23:09.279
It's still new and you still gotta check it here and there, but it gets you a starting place.

00:23:09.440 --> 00:23:12.319
So even if you say, I can't relate to the kids, they don't look like me.

00:23:12.400 --> 00:23:16.559
I come from a different background, I have a different upbringing, blah, blah, blah.

00:23:16.799 --> 00:23:17.680
I get it.

00:23:17.920 --> 00:23:26.480
But now you have opportunities to at least get somewhere to start after you've talked to your students, after you've had an opportunity to learn from their families and things like that.

00:23:26.640 --> 00:23:32.319
You can put it in chat, put the right prompts in there, and it'll give you somewhere to start, and you can kind of go from there.

00:23:32.640 --> 00:23:36.160
Yeah, it reminds me of a friend of mine who was on the podcast a while ago.

00:23:36.240 --> 00:23:44.319
His name is Nico Samatolitas, and he is Greek, learned English when he was in school, but he does a lot of research around hope.

00:23:44.559 --> 00:23:50.000
And as hope is achieved through willpower and way power.

00:23:50.240 --> 00:23:56.880
And when you're talking, I'm thinking chat and just asking the students, like that's the pathway.

00:23:57.599 --> 00:24:12.799
Now you need to have the willpower, the willingness to set aside the idea that you know everything in the classroom, that you're the leader of the class, and ask questions and say, here's what I can contribute.

00:24:12.960 --> 00:24:14.559
How does it make sense for you?

00:24:14.720 --> 00:24:18.000
And where can we make this fit better?

00:24:18.319 --> 00:24:18.559
Yeah.

00:24:18.640 --> 00:24:27.119
And I mean, there's a lot of research that talks about if you're creating a student-centered space, you should be more of a facilitator if at anything like that.

00:24:27.359 --> 00:24:44.880
I think traditionally, the way we were probably brought up in when it comes to schooling, teacher stands in front of the classroom and lectures or gives out the information and they're not really having that opportunity to learn from the students or allowing the students to do their own research and learn on their own.

00:24:45.119 --> 00:24:55.119
If we kind of shift that perspective from that stage on the stage ideology and just become more of facilitators within a classroom, that will make such a difference.

00:24:55.440 --> 00:24:56.079
Yeah.

00:24:56.559 --> 00:25:06.000
When you think about the book, was there a particular point it was just really meaningful to you that you wanted to make sure you got it right?

00:25:06.319 --> 00:25:10.640
When I really dug into the attachment theory, because that was kind of personal for me.

00:25:10.799 --> 00:25:19.039
I'm divorced, and at the time I was writing this book, I got into the attachment theory book just on the relationship side of things.

00:25:19.279 --> 00:25:28.640
And I was like, man, I wonder if this relates to because you're reading, you know, anxious attachment and you think about secure and all these different things, avoidant.

00:25:28.960 --> 00:25:37.759
I was like, man, this research really came from assessing students, kids, young kids, and how they attach to adults.

00:25:37.920 --> 00:25:48.640
This really originated from a lot of the psychology around how a child connects or attaches to their caregiver, i.e., teachers.

00:25:48.880 --> 00:26:05.039
And when I really dug into that piece, oh man, this is some deep stuff that I really want to, when we're talking about sense of belonging and where does the children see throughout the day for the majority of the day, especially during school year, is the the caregivers, i.e., teachers.

00:26:05.359 --> 00:26:07.759
So that's probably one of my favorite parts of the book.

00:26:07.920 --> 00:26:14.319
I found it very fascinating because again, on the personal side of things, I just couldn't wait to share this information.

00:26:15.039 --> 00:26:21.599
They talk about attachment when kids are very young and how you have a secure attachment, yet they need to grow up and be independent.

00:26:21.839 --> 00:26:27.119
My kids are two of them are in college, one is graduated and is living his best life right now.

00:26:27.359 --> 00:26:29.519
I still talk to them once or twice a week.

00:26:29.680 --> 00:26:32.000
We text, but like they do their own thing now.

00:26:32.400 --> 00:26:39.440
And it's a just an interesting space to be in where you're letting them go and seeing them flourish and thrive.

00:26:39.680 --> 00:26:42.559
I wonder what's there now for attachment theories as kids are older.

00:26:42.640 --> 00:26:53.039
Like, I want it to be healthy, I want them to go off and do their thing, yet I want them to know that they have a supportive background, and I want them to have healthy relationships with other people.

00:26:53.680 --> 00:26:53.920
Yeah.

00:26:54.079 --> 00:27:01.359
There's a lot of longitudinal studies where they can predict based off of the attachment that they had early on.

00:27:01.599 --> 00:27:10.400
There's 50, 60 year studies that can predict with a certain percentage of accuracy if this person will end up on the street or not.

00:27:10.559 --> 00:27:20.079
It's crazy the amount of research that has gone into the importance of having a secure attachment early on.

00:27:20.319 --> 00:27:25.279
As a high school person, you know, I've had teachers say to me, Oh, I only see them for 50 minutes a day.

00:27:25.519 --> 00:27:46.880
And you're starting to mix quality and quantity, because maybe that 50 minutes is incredibly meaningful to them, as opposed to four hours in the evening with somebody that they don't have so much interaction with or is not inquiring about who they are and how they're showing up and what they know and what they want to know.

00:27:47.039 --> 00:28:10.079
And so I think when you said who are our kids with, even at the secondary level in a collective, it's the educators, and we have such tremendous opportunity to help provide support for students and be there with them as they're navigating life and becoming more independent.

00:28:10.400 --> 00:28:16.079
Yeah, if someone just says that they're only with them for 50 minutes, then I would have additional questions and just being honest.

00:28:16.480 --> 00:28:17.039
Tell me more.

00:28:17.279 --> 00:28:19.119
Sometimes we feel we get overwhelmed.

00:28:19.359 --> 00:28:23.279
I know with teaching, especially nowadays, it could feel overwhelming.

00:28:23.519 --> 00:28:29.039
I I didn't teach when there was Chat GPT uh or AI opportunity.

00:28:29.279 --> 00:28:33.759
So, like I was old school in it, and you had to just kind of figure out how to get it done.

00:28:34.000 --> 00:28:36.720
But nowadays there's just so much extra support.

00:28:36.880 --> 00:28:38.880
There's a lot of heavy lifting can be done.

00:28:39.039 --> 00:28:51.039
You can literally put the standards into chat or into AI and ask it for a unit plan or ask it for your yearly plan with dates and everything, and you can at least again have something to go off of.

00:28:52.079 --> 00:29:09.519
So this is the perfect opportunity for us to know good intention, what is good teaching in terms of the curriculum, and that frees us up to build the solid relationships piece and to support them and to make those connections.

00:29:09.759 --> 00:29:13.920
The technology is allowing us to shift our focus on what matters most.

00:29:14.079 --> 00:29:22.079
And yes, their growth is important, but they're not going to grow if they're not feeling that sense of belonging, if they're not feeling the love and having their.

00:29:22.319 --> 00:29:24.319
I mean, we know this, the basic needs being met.

00:29:24.640 --> 00:29:25.680
You know this better than I do.

00:29:26.079 --> 00:29:27.200
This is your area.

00:29:28.000 --> 00:29:57.440
But it just gave like I like I tend to skew very pro-technology because I think that there's a lot of good things that are happening for our kids if we support them and help them along the way, but it's helping us as educators as well be able to focus on what's most important because we don't need to spend all the time designing these amazing projects or ideas and things that we can work on with the students and ask Chad to help us out a little bit.

00:29:57.680 --> 00:30:01.039
But we have to refine that piece on what we're Asking.

00:30:01.599 --> 00:30:04.319
I think a lot of people are just afraid of AI.

00:30:04.480 --> 00:30:07.119
And I've heard all kinds of conspiracy theories.

00:30:07.279 --> 00:30:09.440
And I get it because I was skeptical.

00:30:09.519 --> 00:30:10.319
I'm not gonna lie.

00:30:10.400 --> 00:30:16.000
Like when I first started, I was skeptical, and I still hear a lot of educators totally against it.

00:30:16.240 --> 00:30:20.640
But then I also see a lot of districts that are like, yo, y'all need to use AI.

00:30:20.720 --> 00:30:22.160
Here are the tools that you can use.

00:30:22.319 --> 00:30:30.319
Use these tools because we want you to teach, we want you to connect, we want you to do these things, and we understand that you can't always pull stuff out of thin air.

00:30:30.480 --> 00:30:34.160
I see a lot of districts leadership really and supporting.

00:30:34.240 --> 00:30:39.759
Look, we want you, we are encouraging, making it imperative that you use this.

00:30:39.920 --> 00:30:43.519
I think over time people will start to utilizing it more and more comfortable.

00:30:43.920 --> 00:30:45.519
Some of it's just fear of unknown.

00:30:45.680 --> 00:30:47.599
They haven't really had any training or support.

00:30:47.680 --> 00:30:52.960
And so they're like, you're telling me to use, but no one showed me how to use it and how to put prompts in it.

00:30:53.119 --> 00:30:54.319
I don't know how to do this stuff.

00:30:54.400 --> 00:30:56.640
So I just think over time it's gonna get better.

00:30:56.960 --> 00:30:59.759
You have a really good point there, and that the fear of the unknown.

00:31:00.559 --> 00:31:02.319
I want to bring it back to your book again.

00:31:02.480 --> 00:31:05.279
The title is What Are You Bringing to the Potluck?

00:31:06.160 --> 00:31:06.799
So, Dr.

00:31:06.960 --> 00:31:10.799
Akins, what are you bringing to the potluck?

00:31:11.599 --> 00:31:12.640
It's a metaphor.

00:31:12.799 --> 00:31:13.680
It's a metaphor.

00:31:13.839 --> 00:31:17.839
It's when you think about a potluck, you think about what's being brought to the table.

00:31:18.079 --> 00:31:23.039
And at the end of a potluck, there may be food left over, it may be gone.

00:31:23.279 --> 00:31:28.240
Depending on what you brought to the potluck, is gonna probably determine how much is eaten, right?

00:31:28.400 --> 00:31:41.359
So we could rush through, do a quick box macaroni type of situation, or if we have the time, we have the resources, we can put together a nice homemade macaroni dish, right?

00:31:41.680 --> 00:31:48.319
We can probably assume or guess which one is gonna be eaten more, which one's gonna be probably appreciated more.

00:31:48.559 --> 00:31:57.200
If we aren't intentional with our efforts, with creating a sense of belonging, it's almost as if we're bringing box macaroni to that potluck.

00:31:57.440 --> 00:31:58.720
That's the metaphor.

00:31:58.880 --> 00:32:09.440
We need to be intentional with our efforts to make sure that each student, based off of good work back in the early 90s, has to feel accepted, supported, and included.

00:32:09.599 --> 00:32:12.960
Those are the three ingredients, if you will, to that potluck.

00:32:13.119 --> 00:32:15.519
They have to feel accepted, supported, and included.

00:32:15.599 --> 00:32:18.319
If they don't have that, they aren't gonna have a sense of belonging.

00:32:18.480 --> 00:32:21.759
You could feel accepted, you could feel maybe just included.

00:32:21.839 --> 00:32:27.359
But again, if you don't have all three of those ingredients, that dish is not gonna perform the way it should.

00:32:29.279 --> 00:32:31.039
I really love that metaphor.

00:32:31.200 --> 00:32:32.160
That was very powerful.

00:32:32.319 --> 00:32:33.119
Thank you.

00:32:33.359 --> 00:32:34.240
Yeah, absolutely.

00:32:34.400 --> 00:32:37.200
I've been working on it, I've been practicing in my little elevator speech.

00:32:37.279 --> 00:32:44.960
So it's working because I have these visuals and I think about how you are truly when you go, you're giving a piece of who you are.

00:32:45.519 --> 00:32:59.359
And people trust enough to put that piece on the table along with everybody else's, transparent for people to knowing that you could have somebody who is not acting with good intent, but you hope.

00:32:59.759 --> 00:33:06.559
Yeah, so it's a vulnerable place to be in, and it feels so good when somebody digs in is like, this is fabulous.

00:33:07.039 --> 00:33:07.519
Yeah.

00:33:07.759 --> 00:33:16.319
When you come home and your pan is cleaned out versus you come home and there's still a full pan or just one corner was taken out of your casserole.

00:33:16.400 --> 00:33:19.359
This is two different feelings you can have by the end of that pile-up.

00:33:19.759 --> 00:33:20.160
Yeah.

00:33:20.400 --> 00:33:22.400
What kind of classroom do you want?

00:33:22.880 --> 00:33:23.839
Homemade.

00:33:24.720 --> 00:33:34.400
So I would say the classroom where so I've never been one of those individuals that likes the quiet room, desk in a row type of thing.

00:33:34.480 --> 00:33:38.079
And that's what I talk about in the other book that I have coming out a few weeks later.

00:33:38.319 --> 00:33:45.519
So as far as classroom goes, I've always had an issue with the term classroom management, managing a classroom.

00:33:45.680 --> 00:33:49.039

083: Belonging and Bringing Homemade Macaroni to the Potluck with Dr. Sheldon Eakins

Listen On

Recent Episodes