WEBVTT
00:00:03.146 --> 00:00:13.651
Welcome to SEL in EDU, the podcast where we explore how educators bring social, emotional learning to life by sharing stories, strategies and sparks of inspiration.
00:00:13.651 --> 00:00:18.271
I'm your host, Dr Krista Lay, owner of Resonance Education.
00:00:18.271 --> 00:00:26.446
Thank you for joining us on this SEL journey on this SEL journey.
00:00:26.466 --> 00:00:30.513
I'm Anne co-host of Transparency in Teaching, a part of the Education Podcast Network.
00:00:30.513 --> 00:00:37.353
Just like the show you're listening to now, shows on the network are individually owned and opinions expressed may not reflect others.
00:00:37.353 --> 00:00:43.625
Find other interesting education podcasts at edupodcastnetworkcom.
00:00:45.408 --> 00:00:50.234
Harry Bishop currently serves as an instructional coach at a middle school in Chattanooga, tennessee.
00:00:50.234 --> 00:01:02.493
Previously, she served as an academic lead supporting school leadership teams at 19 schools serving students in grades K-12, and as a school-based instructional coach.
00:01:02.493 --> 00:01:12.042
Jessica Holloway is an instructional coach focusing on creative and innovative practices that provide transformative learning experiences for students.
00:01:12.042 --> 00:01:18.381
She coaches teachers and leaders in STEM education, computer science and project-based learning.
00:01:18.381 --> 00:01:26.254
Carrie and Jessica are authors of Make your School Irresistible the Secret to Attracting and Retaining Great Teachers.
00:01:26.254 --> 00:01:30.146
Welcome back SEL and EDU family.
00:01:30.146 --> 00:01:34.981
I am very excited that we have the amazing Carrie and Jess here with us.
00:01:35.462 --> 00:01:38.909
Hi, great to be here with you today, krista.
00:01:38.909 --> 00:01:42.262
Thankful for this opportunity Hello everybody.
00:01:42.462 --> 00:01:47.320
I'm Jessica, the co-author with Carrie and everything she said, and more.
00:01:47.641 --> 00:01:54.034
I'd like to start off by asking you both what motivated you personally to write this book.
00:01:56.740 --> 00:01:58.888
This book really started for me.
00:01:58.888 --> 00:02:11.996
As a coach and a mentor, I've seen so many incredibly talented teachers lose heart, and not just because of the workload, but because they didn't really feel seen and valued and supported.
00:02:11.996 --> 00:02:25.330
Jessica and I were both tired of hearing about retention strategies and jeans days and pizza parties, when what teachers really want is a sense of belonging and purpose and a partnership.
00:02:25.330 --> 00:03:05.873
We wanted to write a book for school leaders that was practical and that provides ways that they could build cultures where teachers don't want to leave, not with one-time fixes or band-aids, but with long-term, people-first systems that invite people to join in the amazing work that's happening in our schools and that encourages leaders to invest in the people that are under their care and that inspires educators to pass that forward, because there's a handoff eventually and we're handing off to the next generation and we want to keep that momentum going and we want to develop ways that we can keep this long term.
00:03:07.602 --> 00:03:09.669
We had lots of conversations about this.
00:03:09.669 --> 00:03:14.469
We've had the privilege to work together and so we've had some shared experiences.
00:03:14.469 --> 00:03:28.764
And then we've had some experiences beyond our time together and there was a moment where I felt like being in a coaching role and Carrie with being in several teacher leadership roles before she was in a coaching role and Carrie would being in several teacher leadership roles before she was in a coaching role.
00:03:28.764 --> 00:03:36.824
You were privy to insights that sometimes are never shared with the people who need to know.
00:03:36.824 --> 00:03:45.687
It felt like I had this secret knowledge of things that were happening that I needed to share.
00:03:45.687 --> 00:03:47.447
Carrie and I talked about a lot of that.
00:03:47.447 --> 00:03:49.387
We would ask them have you shared this?
00:03:49.387 --> 00:03:51.388
Have you talked to this person?
00:03:51.388 --> 00:03:53.929
A lot of times it just they didn't feel comfortable.
00:03:53.929 --> 00:03:55.485
They didn't know how to say it.
00:03:55.485 --> 00:04:04.264
They would just leave in silence and not really give the leader an opportunity to change, for whatever reason.
00:04:04.264 --> 00:04:09.126
No blame on either side, but that was just how it would happen.
00:04:09.366 --> 00:04:19.997
Over my 20 years in education, I've seen the applicant pool go from 100 applicants per position to one applicant or none for a position.
00:04:19.997 --> 00:04:26.612
We really have to rethink about how we approach staffing and inviting people in.
00:04:26.612 --> 00:04:28.225
It's an invitation.
00:04:28.225 --> 00:04:29.007
I have choice.
00:04:29.007 --> 00:04:36.494
It's a competitive market now and the power is in the potential candidates for your school.
00:04:36.494 --> 00:04:39.889
How do you make your school a place where people want to be?
00:04:39.889 --> 00:04:46.271
That way, you're having lots of applicants, you're finding the right people who want to be at your school and stay at your school.
00:04:47.600 --> 00:05:06.913
You bring up an excellent point in that when I first interviewed for my job 27 years ago as a social studies teacher, that's what I worried about is oh, there are so many social studies teachers, but I didn't worry about the fact that there might be a lack of teachers just wanting to apply for positions.
00:05:06.913 --> 00:05:16.855
And now it is a two-way street where you need to make yourself as an organization look, feel and be desirable.
00:05:16.855 --> 00:05:31.487
And, carrie, you said something too that really resonated with me that the staff are under the care of the leader with me, that the staff are under the care of the leader Often think about students being under the care of the educator.
00:05:31.487 --> 00:05:36.423
Can you talk more about what that means, especially now that you're in that leadership position?
00:05:37.324 --> 00:05:38.047
Absolutely.
00:05:38.047 --> 00:05:50.850
If we look at the Tennessee Instructional Leadership Standards, it's very clear that as a leader, we have a responsibility to continue to grow and develop the educators that are under our care.
00:05:50.850 --> 00:05:58.550
A big part of leadership is thinking about how to continue growing not just the instructional practice, but the whole person.
00:05:58.550 --> 00:06:15.649
Sometimes we're focused on the instructional pedagogy of a leader or of a potential leader or of an educator, but the reality is, when we try to separate those out, I think we do a disservice and what we want to do is grow the whole person.
00:06:15.649 --> 00:06:31.612
One of the things we seek to do in our book is to encourage leaders to get to know all of the many skill sets and giftings that our educators bring with them to our community as we seek to change lives together.
00:06:32.761 --> 00:06:54.319
One of the things that I mentioned to you before we started recording was a book that I read months ago that was so profound for me, called Unreasonable Hospitality, by Will Goddard, and he is a restaurant owner and was looking at the ways that he could turn it from just a food experience into a life experience.
00:06:54.319 --> 00:07:02.221
As I'm reading your book, I kept thinking this is the educational version of Unreasonable Hospitality.
00:07:02.221 --> 00:07:16.422
This is a book that all educators should hold on to and refer back to, because it's filled with so many applicable, transferable strategies that people could use and it makes sense.
00:07:16.422 --> 00:07:19.288
It's so practical, it's not theoretical.
00:07:19.288 --> 00:07:25.471
You can tell that you put in your life experiences and sometimes I read books and there's quotes from people.
00:07:25.471 --> 00:07:29.531
I'm like this is an actual person, but I can say these are actual people because I know them.
00:07:29.531 --> 00:07:45.067
So that was so exciting and you give these empathy scenarios that allow people that maybe there's a part of the book that they haven't had personal experience with, but now you're making it come to life for them.
00:07:45.209 --> 00:07:47.122
That was my favorite part of the book to write.
00:07:47.725 --> 00:07:49.249
Mine too yeah.
00:07:50.211 --> 00:07:54.747
Why was it your favorite, and can you talk more about what that process was for you both?
00:07:55.610 --> 00:07:57.697
We wanted to share real examples.
00:07:57.697 --> 00:08:13.651
They've happened, but sometimes the further we get away from the classroom, or further we get away from being a teacher or having these experiences, we forget what it's like, and that's just a human thing.
00:08:13.651 --> 00:08:17.365
We're so caught up in our blinders of this is what's going on in my world.
00:08:17.365 --> 00:08:43.565
We often overlook and forget what's happening on the other side, and so we wanted to provide these scenarios to help leaders build empathy for what experiences have been like and be able to have a moment to say, okay, if this happened, here's what I might do now that I know these things that I've read in the chapter.
00:08:43.565 --> 00:08:51.361
So it's really an opportunity to apply things that they've just read about, but also consider what are the people experiencing that are in my building?
00:08:51.361 --> 00:08:54.711
What are the people experiencing that I'm bringing into the interview?
00:08:54.711 --> 00:09:00.378
What are the people experiencing that want to grow in their leadership journey?
00:09:00.378 --> 00:09:04.505
It's really thinking about others' experiences while they're in your care.
00:09:05.407 --> 00:09:07.831
I agree completely with everything Jessica just said.
00:09:07.890 --> 00:09:40.149
For me, that was my favorite part of the book to write and I think the reason why is it just gave us a space to share these real experiences that have been entrusted to us by teachers, because we were their coach, we were that trusting person that they could share their heart with, and it's like I had these stories entrusted to me and they carry so much weight but they had gone unheard and this was our chance to share those and we felt it was really important for school leaders to hear those.
00:09:40.509 --> 00:09:43.880
But also, that's the piece of the book that's a little different.
00:09:43.880 --> 00:09:47.692
We don't just want educators and leaders to walk away with strategies.
00:09:47.692 --> 00:09:55.442
We also want them to deepen their understanding of what it feels like to be a teacher in today's schools.
00:09:55.442 --> 00:10:25.842
Even in the busyness and I'm in the throes of that busyness myself at the moment even in the busyness of leadership and all of the many decisions that you have to make and trying to prioritize that to-do list and figure out how to get it all done that, these short stories, these empathy episodes, will help school leaders pause and reflect and stay grounded in what really matters most, which is prioritizing people, what really matters most, which is prioritizing people.
00:10:25.863 --> 00:10:36.333
A lot of what you're saying feels very meaningful for me, having been an instructional coach for five years as well for the district, and I often felt like an island unto myself.
00:10:37.394 --> 00:10:54.232
I like Jessica you said I was privy to hearing where the teachers were at and where the administrators were at, and I could pinpoint what the disconnect was, but it wasn't always my place to be the one to do that communication.
00:10:54.232 --> 00:10:56.067
You've referenced that in the book.
00:10:56.067 --> 00:11:00.071
There were times when I would say have you shared that?
00:11:00.071 --> 00:11:12.448
No, they won't listen to me, because of whatever experience happened, or because of an experience that didn't even involve that person, but they had been burnt so many times before that they made the assumption it was going to be like that.
00:11:12.448 --> 00:11:25.831
I see you nodding your heads too, because you're collecting these stories, and from an administrator point of view, when I would be able to talk holistically, not with any names, but here's what's happening.
00:11:25.831 --> 00:11:34.674
I got to hear the stories of where administrators had been burned too, with things pardoned and made them be more resistant.
00:11:34.674 --> 00:11:53.493
How did those pieces come into play with where you started the book, because it started with going out on interviews and what questions you're asking people to keep the rapport and relationship going with the staff you have.
00:12:01.679 --> 00:12:02.341
So I think a little bit of that.
00:12:02.341 --> 00:12:02.943
We started in the middle.
00:12:02.943 --> 00:12:07.081
Honestly, we started in the middle of when you have people at your school, what are you doing to make it a place where they want to stay.
00:12:07.081 --> 00:12:12.953
But then we had conversations about it starts way before they get to you.
00:12:12.953 --> 00:12:19.595
So if you're only thinking about investing in people, then that's a short game you're working on.
00:12:19.855 --> 00:12:25.128
How can you really think about the life cycle of a teacher or staff member when they come to your school?
00:12:25.128 --> 00:12:36.720
It starts by recruitment and we talk about recruitment in informal and formal recruitment because, honestly, word of mouth and reputation is informal recruitment.
00:12:36.720 --> 00:12:49.533
When you have a conversation with someone and it comes to an event at your school, that's informal recruitment because you don't know, you might have a future teacher sitting with their family that may be coming to work there one day.
00:12:49.533 --> 00:12:54.292
You just don't realize the what ifs and the possibilities that are happening all the time.
00:12:54.292 --> 00:13:05.738
It's the recruitment to the interview experience, because the interview experience will sometimes make or break whether someone says yes or no to your school.
00:13:05.738 --> 00:13:13.323
If they have a really bad interview experience, they're thinking this is not the experience I want to have every day coming to work here.
00:13:13.966 --> 00:13:18.048
And then, when they finally do get to your school, how do you make sure they feel welcome?
00:13:18.048 --> 00:13:19.941
How do you invest in their growth?
00:13:19.941 --> 00:13:27.803
And then eventually the reality is and sometimes this is really hard you have to let those really great teachers go.
00:13:27.803 --> 00:13:33.767
Or those teachers are going to move on beyond you, or they want to move up in their own leadership journey.
00:13:33.767 --> 00:13:38.852
And if you're just holding on to them and preventing that growth?
00:13:38.852 --> 00:13:41.956
But if you do invest in them, you do help them grow.
00:13:41.956 --> 00:13:50.711
When they leave and they talk about the positive experience they have at your school, all of a sudden now they're brand ambassadors for your school and for you as a leader.
00:13:51.900 --> 00:14:03.803
When I was reading those pieces early on, it was also talking about those unintended consequences it had me thinking about when I'm working with educators on being able to model SEL for their students.
00:14:03.803 --> 00:14:12.806
It's often what do you need to do to show up as the best version of yourself so the students can thrive and become the best version of themselves?
00:14:12.806 --> 00:14:20.336
And I couldn't help but think that your book has all of this adult SEL infused through it.
00:14:20.336 --> 00:14:23.009
We don't always have the best day.
00:14:23.009 --> 00:14:36.321
There was a vignette about a principal who probably was having a rough day going into an interview and just unloaded on a spiral right, went downhill with oh this is happening and this is happening.
00:14:36.321 --> 00:14:39.927
And I bet if they could reel that back in, be like oh no.
00:14:39.927 --> 00:14:53.107
So I'm curious for you personally as leaders what are some things that you do to continue to show up as the best version of yourselves for the people that you're serving?
00:14:54.409 --> 00:15:12.773
As a new leader, one thing I'm really trying to do, especially because I'm in Christian education now I have left public school, so I do have my quiet time each morning, spend time in prayer and scripture, making sure that I'm planning the truth in my heart, making sure I'm getting grounded as I'm going into my day.
00:15:13.313 --> 00:15:16.402
Throughout the day, it may be breath, prayers.
00:15:16.402 --> 00:15:37.446
I may have lots of people coming in, taking time to drink plenty of water, making sure I'm getting good nutrition, making sure I'm getting enough sleep, making sure that I'm communicating and relying on my support system my husband and the other people in my life close friends and family that will help me that I'm not walking this alone.
00:15:37.446 --> 00:15:59.076
And as we think about SEL, that's going to look different for each person, but when we are not in a good place, we can't possibly lead ourselves well, much less lead anyone else, and so it's so important to understand what that looks like for each individual and then really just lean into that and know that and be self-aware enough.
00:15:59.076 --> 00:16:01.527
I think you can't pour from an empty cup.
00:16:01.527 --> 00:16:02.591
We've all heard that.
00:16:02.591 --> 00:16:24.474
We've all probably tried to pour from an empty cup and found that to be like, but even before we jumped on this call I'm meal prepping for the week, because I know that in order to get that good nutrition, I've got to do some of those things on the weekend.
00:16:25.240 --> 00:16:37.028
What I've learned over time especially being in a coaching role where you invest in other people so much because that's your focus you want other people to grow is ensuring that I'm also investing in myself.
00:16:37.028 --> 00:16:47.792
So that way I have my own individual success marks, outcomes and goals that I want as much as I'm investing in other people.
00:16:47.792 --> 00:16:59.486
I've also made it intentional to put planning time for myself in my calendar, because when I don't do that, I give all of my time away.
00:16:59.486 --> 00:17:08.970
So I do gift myself personal planning time to get things done that I need to get done, because I will say yes to everybody's requests.
00:17:08.970 --> 00:17:12.044
I know myself well enough to protect my time in my calendar.
00:17:12.044 --> 00:17:37.281
But I've also protected time in my calendar to connect with my support system and whether that's 15 minutes where I'm just eating lunch and I'm looking at somebody else that's my friend and they can just make funny faces at me and make me smile and laugh just not being alone for a little while or if it's just a check-in call, but making sure to schedule those out.
00:17:37.281 --> 00:17:45.907
I know that sounds very rigid, but the reality is, if you don't schedule time to check in with friends and in your support system, it won't happen.
00:17:45.907 --> 00:17:50.923
So we make time for what we feel is important.
00:17:50.923 --> 00:17:53.208
It's important, so put it on calendar.
00:17:53.868 --> 00:18:08.730
But I also think there's a part in a chapter where we talk about the mask we wear, and I think we have to stop wearing the mask as a leader and allow ourselves to be human and say I don't have it together today.
00:18:08.730 --> 00:18:19.125
It's okay, I'm going to do the best I can today and allow space to not be perfect, allow space to not have it all figured out.
00:18:19.125 --> 00:18:33.192
When we do that, it creates a safe space for our teachers to come in and remove their mask and say today is not my best day, but I'm going to give you all I do have today, and just I could use some care and kindness today.
00:18:33.192 --> 00:18:37.204
Have today, and just I could use some care and kindness today.
00:18:37.204 --> 00:18:53.844
And if we do that and we realize we're humans all of us it's going to make it feel like a place where you can be your authentic self and know that you're going to have ups and downs personally and professionally, but we're going to all work through it together because we're all there for the same purpose and the same vision with the school.
00:19:01.960 --> 00:19:02.361
So I couldn't help.
00:19:02.361 --> 00:19:05.833
But while you were talking, I'm smiling inside and outside and I'm going to go a little personal here for a minute and say that to those who are listening.
00:19:05.833 --> 00:19:17.446
Jessica is an ASCD Emerging Leader as well, and so we've known each other for or of each other for a very long time I'd say like six or seven years maybe.
00:19:17.446 --> 00:19:27.050
And this is just how it works in the EL community there's 500 people and you bump into people and many of us are introverts, which is very interesting.
00:19:27.712 --> 00:19:33.429
Jess and I had the opportunity to sit together at a conference about two years ago two and a half years ago maybe.
00:19:33.429 --> 00:19:37.134
Now we're like shenanigan sisters together.
00:19:37.134 --> 00:19:41.445
We weren't rude or disrespectful during this, so I do need to put that out.
00:19:41.445 --> 00:19:48.951
It was very professional during the session, but we had so much fun learning together and connecting.
00:19:48.951 --> 00:19:51.666
You talk about having those safe spaces.
00:19:51.666 --> 00:19:53.311
To have people like that.
00:19:53.311 --> 00:20:05.472
It made all the difference, and I think that was a moment for both of us where we bonded, and there's inside jokes from that session that keep popping up two and a half years later.
00:20:05.472 --> 00:20:27.967
And I'm thinking that because you wrote a book together and knowing the amount of time it takes to do that, Carrie you probably have some shenanigan sisters going on too with Jess being able to show people a lighter side too, and that you can show people that lighter side when you are taking care of yourself.
00:20:29.230 --> 00:20:29.672
For sure.
00:20:29.672 --> 00:20:41.027
I think also just that deep sense of connection, I think that camaraderie that I know over the years Jessica and I guess have known each other about 11 or 12 years at this point.
00:20:41.027 --> 00:20:48.713
So that deep sense of connection, I've seen this person on their best day, I've seen this person on their worst day and I'm still going to show up for them.
00:20:48.713 --> 00:20:51.817
I'm still going to be there to cheer them on, to support them.
00:20:51.817 --> 00:20:54.964
Going to be there to cheer them on, to support them.
00:20:54.964 --> 00:21:01.048
I'm going to be there to remind them who they are and what they're called to and what they're called to do, and that they have everything they need and that if they need something from me, I'm there to bring it.
00:21:01.048 --> 00:21:07.952
If we can build that sense of community in our schools, we can go farther together than we ever could alone.
00:21:08.079 --> 00:21:10.224
One of my mentors talks about you.
00:21:10.224 --> 00:21:11.268
Look at an atom.
00:21:11.268 --> 00:21:21.483
It has a certain amount of energy, it has a certain amount of weight, but you put them together and it forms molecules and they become something that they can never do on their own.
00:21:21.483 --> 00:21:23.028
That has really stuck with me.
00:21:23.028 --> 00:21:25.032
It's the kind of schools we want to build.
00:21:25.032 --> 00:21:32.482
As a coach, I know it's what we've tried to be with our teachers as we partnered with them, with our school leaders, as we partnered with them.
00:21:32.482 --> 00:21:59.266
Now, as I look at the team that I have the absolute honor of leading this year, I hope that they'll form those bonds that allow them to do things together that they could not do individually like you said, krista, there becomes these inside jokes, these things that you can reference.
00:21:59.286 --> 00:22:03.377
That brings you together and you can lighten a tough day by referencing one of those jokes.
00:22:03.377 --> 00:22:08.169
And we refer to that when we talk about the power of physical presence in the book.
00:22:08.169 --> 00:22:19.349
You can't have shared experience or develop those kind of inside jokes if you're never around the people in which you work.
00:22:19.349 --> 00:22:25.852
And it doesn't take very long, sometimes it happens very quickly in the hallway or at the beginning of a meeting.
00:22:25.852 --> 00:22:32.407
I'll never forget saying the word squircle because they never let me forget squircle because I was thinking square and circle at the same time.
00:22:32.407 --> 00:22:37.089
I meant circle, but now every meeting they're like are we getting in a squircle today?
00:22:37.089 --> 00:22:40.144
And I'm like squircle, squircle forever.
00:22:40.546 --> 00:22:43.112
It was just one of those things that it only took a moment.
00:22:43.112 --> 00:22:52.347
But if you're not there and you don't laugh at being human and, you know, engage with it, then you miss the opportunity to build those trusting relationships.
00:22:52.347 --> 00:22:54.653
So it is really important to be present.
00:22:54.653 --> 00:23:02.983
Sometimes it's just I'm going to eat my food in here in this lunchroom today and just listen in to what's going on and something silly happens.
00:23:02.983 --> 00:23:04.008
We can laugh about it.
00:23:04.008 --> 00:23:19.776
Or I'm just going to be out here among everybody as we dismiss kids, and just being present you give the opportunity to have those shared experiences that really can help build a sense of community.
00:23:21.842 --> 00:23:23.868
That feels like a mic drop moment there.
00:23:23.868 --> 00:23:29.230
If you're not showing up, you don't get to have that resonation.
00:23:29.230 --> 00:23:30.653
That could happen later.
00:23:30.653 --> 00:23:43.670
About a year ago I was working with some friends in Illinois and we were at a doorway and my friend was standing in the doorway talking to me.
00:23:43.670 --> 00:23:48.222
I was in front of the glass pane next to the doorway and for me there was no bars, it was a full glass pane.
00:23:48.222 --> 00:23:56.763
And so my friend inside the room was like hey, krista, and I turned to walk through the doorway and banged into the glass and just fell right to the floor.
00:23:57.625 --> 00:24:07.673
All they need to do is send me a meme of a kid walking into a glass or an animal or something and it sends all of us to a tailspin.
00:24:07.673 --> 00:24:13.873
But those are those moments where it will forever be funny and remind us of a shared event.
00:24:13.873 --> 00:24:21.792
And, just like when you were at this last conference, you sent me some pictures that reminded us of a shared event that we had.
00:24:21.792 --> 00:24:45.165
That was just really funny and those pieces live on and I think we don't always take advantage of the opportunities to be present because we don't think about the future implications or fun that could come from just that one moment or the investment.
00:24:45.165 --> 00:24:47.023
Yes, thank you, thank you.
00:24:47.023 --> 00:24:53.222
Yes, thinking about all the good that can come from that and how that really fills up a relationship.
00:24:54.085 --> 00:25:01.528
It reminds me of a part of the book where you were talking about mentors, and there was another vignette where a new teacher was there.
00:25:01.528 --> 00:25:16.673
It wasn't just one person who was their assigned mentor, because that happened to me While the person was nice, we just didn't click and it was very like here's the check boxes, but in this vignette there was a new person who came in to check on them every day.
00:25:16.673 --> 00:25:22.633
I would like to think that people chose to do that because of the way the culture was.
00:25:22.633 --> 00:25:29.368
It wasn't a hey, who's going to go see them on day one, who's going to go see them on day two, who's day three?
00:25:29.368 --> 00:25:31.444
But it becomes a.
00:25:31.806 --> 00:25:36.542
This is a culture of care about each other, and now you just don't have one mentor, but it becomes a.
00:25:36.542 --> 00:25:39.250
This is a culture of care about each other, and now you just don't have one mentor, but you have many over time.
00:25:39.250 --> 00:26:02.903
When you think about, then parts of the book that came very easily to you, are there any parts that you're like oh, this is going to be a little bit harder to write, or this feels a little bit more like a sticky issue because it hits close to home, maybe, or because it's a part you just felt so passionately that you wanted to get it right for other leaders.
00:26:05.730 --> 00:26:17.900
I think one part that I went and spiraled in for a while was we have a part called extinguishing the bonfire of negativity.
00:26:17.900 --> 00:26:30.155
We didn't want to just cover it up with toxic positivity and address the reality that there's going to be negativity.
00:26:30.155 --> 00:26:38.401
It's going to exist negativity.
00:26:38.401 --> 00:26:51.108
It's going to exist, but how can you address it when it's small before it becomes this big bonfire and spreads and starts encompassing other things and it's real easy to get wrapped up in all the things that aren't going or you're frustrated with.
00:26:51.289 --> 00:26:52.981
It was a part that needed to be said.
00:26:52.981 --> 00:27:04.548
But thinking about how to say it and dress in a way that doesn't just come off, flip it and say just smile, everything's fine, because there are days and nothing is fine and it's a tough day.
00:27:04.548 --> 00:27:24.242
But don't spiral into this is the worst place to work, this is the worst team to be on, this is the worst, and just become a big bonfire of negativity, just trying to keep that contained, because we've all seen the dumpster fire memes and sometimes that's how it feels.
00:27:24.242 --> 00:27:36.082
But how can we keep that contained and address the things that need to be addressed so it doesn't turn into that and that's not how people are viewing where they work or their experiences at work.
00:27:38.547 --> 00:27:51.585
I appreciate that because it validates where people are at in the moment, but then also helps them think about how to manage that it doesn't spiral out of control and become something bigger than what they intended.
00:27:53.357 --> 00:27:58.183
And one of the stories in that particular section is an experience I had as a coach.
00:27:58.183 --> 00:28:06.104
One of the things I've learned from that experience is the importance of validating the feeling the teacher may be experiencing some frustration.
00:28:06.104 --> 00:28:19.925
Sometimes, when teachers come and share their heart with us and we're listening whether that's in the coaching seat or in a leadership seat they just need you to listen and validate that some of the frustrations, their feelings, are valid.
00:28:19.925 --> 00:28:24.569
First of all, the particular teacher in the story that we share in that section.
00:28:24.569 --> 00:28:29.065
He interpreted students cheating on a test as disrespect.
00:28:29.065 --> 00:28:58.970
For me as a classroom teacher, when students had cheated on something and I've caught them, I didn't interpret it that way, but it was important for me as his coach to understand that is how he felt and as soon as I could wrap my head around the fact that for him that felt like disrespect, then I could begin to help him walk through that door and move towards taking actions that were going to help us accomplish our purpose.
00:28:58.970 --> 00:29:05.987
It was so important that I hear his true feelings and that I get to the heart of that and then that I validate.
00:29:05.987 --> 00:29:10.327
That's a hard place to be, because I know how much he put into his teaching.
00:29:10.327 --> 00:29:20.997
If you're feeling disrespected and you're feeling like you're pouring in, and as soon as I could empathize, like we encourage our leaders to do, then I could help walk him through the door of.
00:29:20.997 --> 00:29:25.441
So here's a thought of how we could move forward, because that is our goal.
00:29:25.441 --> 00:29:25.901
Do that really matters?
00:29:25.901 --> 00:29:53.989
Because if we just extinguish it, yeah, we can get people to stop saying the thing or doing the thing, but if we do it in a way that they grow and in this case, this teacher, I was because of our relationship and because of the way that we walked it out.
00:29:53.989 --> 00:30:03.194
I'll be honest, I was having this conversation in the middle of a middle school dance in my office and I literally needed to be in there chaperoning a middle school dance.
00:30:03.194 --> 00:30:13.835
But I knew that this need that had walked in my office was more pressing and I was like, okay, I've got to stop what I'm doing, I've got to listen because he is not okay.
00:30:13.835 --> 00:30:17.619
I've got to help him process his feelings so we can move forward.
00:30:17.619 --> 00:30:18.902
And it's hard.
00:30:18.902 --> 00:30:21.766
These conversations don't show up when it's convenient.
00:30:21.766 --> 00:30:31.928
Sometimes they show up and you have to be like, okay, I've got to hear this now because I've got to be there for this person to help them.
00:30:31.948 --> 00:30:42.402
But because of the choices that this teacher made as we talked about how he might respond to the students who had cheated on the test, he realized and grew as an educator.
00:30:42.402 --> 00:30:49.559
And students grew because he, rather than accusing and rather than tearing them down, he believed in them.
00:30:49.559 --> 00:31:09.015
At the heart of that feeling is a desire for something, and if we can listen to what they're longing for and what they feel they've lost, and to him, he felt he had lost the opportunity to measure what students really knew and he's longing for students to want to learn and to take their learning seriously.
00:31:09.015 --> 00:31:13.106
I heard that in his sharing and then was able to walk him through.
00:31:13.106 --> 00:31:17.584
So this is what I hear that you want, and here's the way I think we can walk there together.
00:31:17.584 --> 00:31:22.519
That you want and here's the way I think we can walk there together.
00:31:22.519 --> 00:31:30.165
I just am thankful that he was willing to trust me and give it a try, because I believe that it led him and his students to a greater place than we would have gotten to had he taken a different approach.
00:31:32.355 --> 00:31:44.728
One of the pieces that I'm taking from that story relates back to what Jess said about the power of presence and being there, because you admitted that you knew you had to be somewhere else and you have to prioritize.
00:31:46.494 --> 00:32:05.203
And that moment where you were able to walk with him allowed him to build a deeper relationship with his entire class and likely changed the way that he thinks about different pieces of teaching and learning in the future.
00:32:05.203 --> 00:32:42.796
And that relates to one of your other stories in the book about somebody who had the courage to ask their admin to come in and see a lesson and the admin, in their busyness, was like I'll try and yeah, and I understand that busyness, but then the empathy with understanding the courage it takes for somebody to do that and how important it must have been to extend that invitation to really try to think about how can I make this work, to show up for that person and to be present for them.
00:32:42.796 --> 00:32:59.246
What advice would you either give teachers or leaders so you can pick, based on a big aha that you've had in your experiences as educators?
00:33:00.627 --> 00:33:15.317
I will say one thing I talk about with teachers when they felt safe enough to share that I think I'm going to quit, or I've just had enough, or my heart's not in it anymore.
00:33:16.558 --> 00:33:32.696
Sometimes I talk with them about trying a different school location, a different grade level, a different content, trying something else before just walking away from the profession.
00:33:33.238 --> 00:33:40.069
Because fit really does matter and just because you're an educator, not every school is your fit.
00:33:40.069 --> 00:33:53.849
So figuring out where it is that you feel like you belong, where you have value, where you can really pour into the mission and vision of that school and where you feel fulfilled.
00:33:53.849 --> 00:34:05.305
I've seen teachers who have done that, tried something else before leaving the profession and it's been a complete change in experience for them.
00:34:05.305 --> 00:34:13.704
They've found the place that they feel like they belong and that they can bring value and rekindle their joy of the profession.
00:34:13.704 --> 00:34:18.842
Sometimes it doesn't work, sometimes they go somewhere else and it's just not.
00:34:18.842 --> 00:34:23.121
Maybe education in its current form is not the place for them.
00:34:23.121 --> 00:34:26.784
And then I honor that and say you take care of you.
00:34:26.784 --> 00:34:41.655
But for a lot of educators, especially ones that have only worked in one place or in one grade level or one content area, I always say consider trying something else before you just completely walk away from the profession.
00:34:42.938 --> 00:34:45.844
I think that's really solid advice, Carrie.
00:34:45.844 --> 00:34:46.646
What would you?
00:34:48.289 --> 00:35:11.505
recommend I've learned is that education is one of the greatest joys of my life, and so the opportunity to walk alongside other people and to step into so many of these moments in their lives, the opportunity to be with parents through some really sacred moments, and with students and families it's an incredible experience.
00:35:11.505 --> 00:35:15.641
It's one of the greatest joys Aside from being a wife and a mother.
00:35:15.641 --> 00:35:20.115
It's absolutely the greatest joy of my life being a wife and a mother.